Ugh.

I got my period this morning. Bleah. I don't know why, but I'm feeling very emotional about it. Yesterday I looked at some of the babies in storytime and wondered what a baby that John and I made would look like. And then I got all the pregnancy longings again and hoped against hope that maybe I was pregnant.

But I'm not.

I am excited about adopting, very much so, but it's hard to let go of all the longing I've had about getting pregnant and going through the whole nine yards - the stick test, the barfing, the getting fat, the ultrasound, the dreaming of what the baby might look like, the birth, the breastfeeding, the conjecture about whose nose the baby got and whose chin.

We're not going to have that. And even though we'll have the rest, it still makes me sad that we'll miss that.

Plus, I have cramps. Really, if I'm never going to get pregnant they should just take this thing out.