Today I came across a recent obituary online for Larry R. Seidel, husband of Kathleen Gilles Seidel , one of my most favorite authors. I immediately felt sad for her and wanted to do something, but it seems to me that there is a sort of author/reader barrier that I might be breaching if I did send a card (or did something else). I'm not sure what the etiquette is for people with whom you have communicated briefly via the internet but feel you sort of know because you've read all of their books, some of them many times. I don't want to come off as a stalker or insert myself unnecessarily into this situation, but my thoughts are with her and her family. Her husband wasn't very old. I don't know if this was sudden or unexpected, but it has to be devastating for them.
Advice? Do you think would be appropriate but not stalkerish to send a card?
I'm very sorry to hear of Seidel's loss myself, since I too have enjoyed
her books, and I truly hope she finds comfort in her loved ones at this
time. I don't think it would be stalkerish to send condolences, or
flowers, or a donation in lieu of flowers if one is mentioned in the
obituray. I think the loss of loved one is the one time when people most
need others to reach out to them.
"You don't know me, but I have enjoyed your books for years. I came across your husband's obituatry and wanted to let you know that I feel the deepest sympathies for your loss. I know we are strangers, but the joy your books have given me over the past several years has lightened many difficult moments for me, so I hope that this note has helped a little, too.
Janine - your note is just exactly what I would like to say myself.
Beautifully put.