IVF

IVF (in vitro fertilization) is a procedure that doctors regularly recommend to infertile couples after the first round of treatments (drugs, artificial insemination) has been unsuccessful.

Our doctor suggested IVF to us fairly early on, and I did feel some pressure from both doctors and nurses to try it. There seemed to be this attitude that if you were serious about getting pregnant, you would do IVF at least 2 or 3 times. However, none of the doctors or nurses ever fully explained this procedure or it's medical and ethical ramifications to either of us. I did not appreciate that. In fact, I would say that all of the concerns we had at any time in the process, whether it be over the chance of multiple births, drug side-effects, or whatever, were shrugged off as inconsequential. I did often feel that my medical providers felt that I was foolish to worry about any of that.

When I had my doctor's consultation/post-miscarriage check-up, my new doctor (whom I'd never met before) tossed out the idea of IVF and actively questioned me about why I did not want to try it. "We've had excellent results in achieving pregnancy through IVF in cases of unexplained infertility, like yours," he told me.

When I explained that the procedure was too expensive ($5,000-$10,000 per try) for the risk (there's only a 15-25% chance of acheiving pregnancy per egg per cycle), he shrugged. I told him I'd rather put that same money into an adoption where I'd have a much better than 25% chance of getting a baby, he reluctantly desisted in his advice.

This was not, however, our real reason for not undergoing IVF. J. and I have never thought it was a good idea. First of all, petrie dish fertilization doesn't appeal to me at all. Second, you have to decide how many of the fertilized eggs to use which raises the question of multiple births. I have always been very nervous about multiple births. If you have only a 25% shot of getting pregnant per egg, than it's very tempting to use 4 fertilized eggs. Because if you're going through the chemical and emotional crap, you really want this to work. But I knew I'd never, ever want quadruplets. Ever. And you're taking that chance. Reproductive endocrinologists would respond with the "selective reduction" argument. But I have to say, after making the conception and carrying of a child my #1 priority in the last 3 years, there is no way I could "selectively reduce" my pregnancy. Which of my precious babies could I choose to abort? I couldn't. This implied risk of multiple births was reason alone for no IVF for us.

Also, many times couples will choose to freeze fertilized eggs for later use. As a pro-life Catholic who believes that the soul is infused into the human being at conception, I am most uncomfortable with the idea of freezing or later disposing of my fertilized eggs.

Personally I'm also uncomfortable with how IVF and other advanced fertility measures make embryos (and, therefore children) into commodities to be manipulated/bought/achieved/traded/fought over. I have wanted to get pregnant, to carry a child, to nurse a child, to have my own child. But it's always been more important to me to be a parent. Somehow spending thousands and thousands of dollars to make your body produce something seems wrong to me when I think about all the children out there, foreign or domestic, who need parents. It's never been so important to me to reproduce my genetic code that I could overlook all of the other considerations.

tags: infertility